No Way to Say
by link no miko
Summary: Strongly implied NejiHina. Because there are always those things we've longed to do, but have never been able to do them.


**No Way to Say**

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My very first NejiHina, and totally and completely because I was tricked into challenging myself to write it. Based off a scene in an RP I'm a part of, but not at all the same (although I did sorta steal one of Neji's lines...). More implied Hyuugacest than anything, set sometime after the two year jump.

As always, comments and criticisms are appreciated.

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Hinata found herself outside her cousin's guest room door, hand poised to knock but too scared to complete the gesture. Her father had ordered her to go and tell Neji he was expected to attend the formal dinner later that night, and he was expecting him to be suitably presentable. Secretly, Hinata thought that was rather rude of her father to say, since Neji had never been anything less than presentable his entire life, always performing his duties perfectly, always saying the correct things and doing everything in a way to show honor upon the Hyuuga house. Nothing less than the Hyuuga ideal of perfection.

Even if the entire time, all he felt was hatred for the clan and, especially, for the girl standing outside his door with her knuckles resting against the wood and her bottom lip sucked between her teeth.

Hinata was not stupid, as most people assumed she was due to her shyness, and she had always known somewhat of her cousin's feelings. True, the extent of those feelings had only really shown themselves during the first Chuunin exam, and had ended there as well. Something had happened to Neji after that, something she couldn't identify or ever know, she didn't think, but some strange form of softness had slowly and steadily begun to show in his eyes, and while alarming at first, she couldn't help but feel glad that something had managed to pierce the darkness Neji had surrounded himself in.

So she didn't know why she hesitated outside his door, fear causing her to stand perfectly still and silent, even her breathing so shallow as to be unnoticeable. Her cousin no longer hated her, and she no longer felt that cloying intimidation from him, but still she couldn't bring herself to look him in the eyes or feel entirely comfortable around him.

_Why did Father send me…? I…_

She must have moved, because she heard a soft tap noise and then Neji's voice from the other side of the door, soft yet distinct. "Come in."

Taking a deep breath to compose herself—she was a ninja, she was stronger than before and it's not like she was doing anything wrong—Hinata finally uncurled her fists and slid open the door slowly, habit forcing her to peek in before the rest of her body followed.

The sight that greeted her made her stop dead a step into the room.

Neji stood with his back to her, shirt loose and hanging off his shoulders slightly, his long hair unbound and flowing freely down his back, shimmering in the mid-morning sun that broke through the small window across the room.

"Um…"

He turned to her sharply, eyes narrowing almost imperceptibly. She flinched at the look, dropping her gaze to the floor as her cheeks colored slightly.

"Hinata-sama. I wasn't aware the person at the door was you."

"Y-yes, I…" She shifted uncomfortably, her eyes darting up to look through her lashes every few seconds, caught by the sight of his loose hair. She could name only about two times she'd ever seen it down, not counting during fights, and every time she was surprised to see it. Neji was always so composed, to see anything about him so relaxed and free never failed to confuse her.

"Did you need anything, Hinata-sama?"

"I…" She licked her lips and took a deep breath to steady herself, then lifted her face to look at him. Her eyes didn't meet his. "Father asked me to tell you that he expects to see you tonight at dinner." She left out the part about being suitable because Neji would never be anything but.

Her cousin stood still a moment, then nodded. "I see. Thank you." His voice was almost flat, the words of thanks said only because of etiquette, and then he turned his back to her again, a clear signal she could leave.

But she didn't leave, didn't move at all, just stood with her eyes locked on his hair, an urge to walk towards him so strong she almost took a step before she caught herself. She'd always envied Neji's hair, and Hanabi's as well, always loved the way it looked, long and obsidian, and what she imagined would be soft to the touch, like silk.

Not that she would ever grow her own hair out—she preferred the short style much more, as it was easier to care for and less of a hindrance. And, in a way, she held onto it as a lifeline out of her Father's clutches. When she was younger, she'd once overheard him commenting on Hanabi's hair, how, with her long locks and rapid growth in the Hyuuga style, she was his ideal daughter and the perfect image of what a kunoichi should be. In a strange fit of defiance she had decided to keep hers short to spite him, and had grown so accustomed to the style that it was all she could imagine for herself now.

But she still loved to watch the way Hanabi's and Neji's hair would move when they performed their katas, how the wind would catch the strands, creating a dance all their own. How the strands would catch the sun _just right_ and glimmer brighter than anything she'd ever seen before.

And suddenly she _was_ moving, one hand lifted out in front of her, and then Neji tensed, his shirt falling just enough to reveal a nasty scar, three years old, remnants of a fight he couldn't win but had at a cost almost too high to bear. And then she realized he'd tensed because her fingers were grazing his hair, thin strands wrapped up in her hand as she combed through it.

As soon as she noticed she pulled away, clutching her hands to her chest as though burnt, face red enough to warrant the feeling. And Neji wasn't looking at her, was looking straight ahead as though she didn't exist.

"I… I'm s-sorry… I didn't…"

"…Is there something you wanted, Hinata-sama?"

She shook her head no, a small sound escaping her throat as she did so. Still, Neji would not look at her, and she took a step back, almost losing her balance and tripping.

He turned to her then, just a little, his face in profile but his back still to her. The loose strands of his hair blocked his features from her.

"N-no…" She started, but he talked over her, his words sending a chill through her spine.

"If so…do as you wish."

His tone was cold, not quite scathing, and she could almost convince herself there was something else there, something hidden that neither of them had ever noticed before.

And against everything her mind and body told her, she grabbed onto that hidden feeling and took a step forward, hesitant, one foot after the other, until she stood behind him, close enough to reach out and touch him but far enough away to not make him feel trapped.

He reached a hand out to the side and a little back, a strip of white cloth held loosely in his fingers, although the rest of his arm was tense and rigid. Catching onto his meaning, she took the strip, careful not to brush his hand with her own, and then raised her other hand to his hair, running her fingers through the strands like a comb.

His hair was as soft and silky as she'd imagined it to be, and she had the sudden urge to giggle at the absurdity of the situation. Neji was standing perfectly straight and tall, shoulders rigid and face straight ahead, and she was slouched a bit, her face so red she could feel the heat without having to touch her cheeks, her hands shaking just enough to be noticeable to Hyuuga eyes.

They were so mismatched, so different, and yet, for some reason, everything felt right. Neji's shoulders slowly began to loosen, his back not as tense as before, and he almost swayed with the relaxing feel of her combing his hair. And her hands finally steadied, eventually running through his hair as though she was simply sitting by the river and running her hands through the water. And her blush, while still present, didn't seem to burn as much anymore.

And then they both realized what they were doing and froze at the same time, her hands stilling and his back going rigid once more, and then the next moment she was hurriedly tying the cloth into his hair, not quite sure how to do so and her awkwardness showing. But she managed to finish, and he stepped away and turned towards her when he felt her tie the ends of the cloth together, and she stepped back, and both managed to look at each other but not.

"Um…" Her eyes were on his shoulder, shirt and bandages and scars the only thing she saw, and she fidgeted, wringing her hands. "I'm sorry…"

"…If there's anything else you require…" His eyes were directly to the left of her face, seeing over her shoulder to the window beyond. Two birds took flight beyond the glass, black and small.

Hinata shook her head and bowed low. "No. I…"

Neji nodded curtly and turned back away from her, pulling his shirt on fully. "Then thank you."

She looked up at that, eyebrows knitted in confusion. Like before, he'd said it coldly, but with that hint of something else that she couldn't identify. She wished he would look at her, let her see his eyes so she could understand what he was thinking, but the wish was futile and she knew it.

So instead she simply bowed again, her whispered "I'll be going now…" echoing in the silence, and she turned and walked away, closing the door silently behind her.

And so she never saw Neji look down at his palm where she'd brushed it while getting the cloth for his hair, or how he repeated the gesture by himself, a strange and distant look in his eyes as he finished getting dressed.


End file.
